A Pastor’s Wife’s Chronicles
I spent a lot of my childhood and teenage years feeling worthless. I found myself trying to prove my worth in ways that were less than desirable, and none of them worked. It seemed the more I tried to prove my worth or find my worth, the bigger void it left within me. Now, being saved, I understand that void could only be filled by God. Matthew 10:31 states, “So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” In this passage, Jesus is explaining that He takes care of the birds, and obviously, we are worth more than that to Him.
Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding:”
2 years ago I delivered my son. During that time covid was still going crazy, part of the protocol when you went to the hospital to deliver is you and your spouse must be tested for covid, if either one of you tests positive then the spouse has to leave. If I am being honest I was scared to death of this, thankfully we both tested negative. I deliver our son early at 34 weeks, he has to go to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) I stay for 24 hours, they test me again as per there protocol so that I can be let back into the hospital the next day, because my son has to stay. They didn’t get my results back before they released me, I went back the next morning to see my son, I get to his room he’s in an incubator under the blue lights for jaundice. I set my stuff down, and a nurse comes rushing in and closes the door. One of you has covid She says. I am dumbfounded, I just tested negative 2 days ago, if my son has it how did he get it? She says don’t leave this room I will be right back. A few minutes later she comes back and tells me I am the one that’s positive. Here is where the lesson begins, I had to leave for 15 days. In that time neither my husband or I was allowed to go see him. Talk about a Gut punch.
One thing I have learned through my journey with God is that He always keeps me guessing. What I mean by that is this, when I get comfortable He pulls me out of my comfort, He wants to stretch me and a lot of times that involves me being, well, uncomfortable. God has me and my husband in a new season of life, He has called us to start a church and as you may imagine this is no easy feat. In this He is teaching me many things, I am an introvert by nature, I know how can a pastors wife be an introvert? Well its difficult to be actually, that’s one of the ways I am being stretched right now. I am having to get out of my bubble talk to people make friends and Gasp I might even have to invite someone to church, for some that sounds easy for me it sounds like He is asking me to climb mount Everest. However I am reminded that in James 1:2-3 “Consider it pure Joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” When I read this verse I know that I am supposed to be happy He is teaching me, and sometimes I am. There are times where my flesh kicks in and I do what God wants me to do, but I do it kicking and screaming like a toddler that heard the word “no” I want you to remember God doesn’t expect perfection, He expects us to actively strive to do our best for Him on the daily.
About Maria
I am a pastor’s wife of five years and a mother to our two-year-old son. God is my focus, I was saved five and half years ago and have not looked back. I am not a typical woman in that I love all things cars, and motorcyles, and fixing things, in addition to sewing and gardening. I also love caring for my husband and son, and enjoy spending time at the beach with them when we can.
The Pastor’s Wife
A Wife and Mother, Seeking God